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| Tips
On Getting Your Teen To Do Their Homework... While Keeping Your Sanity |
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Let your teen be the one to come up with his daily routine. They are
more apt to stick with it this way. Set up a consequence if they are
unable to stick to the routine, beforehand. An example of what I use is if
the time is 7:00 pm, and they can't get to the table until 7:05, then no
TV, (stereo, going out with friends, ...pick one), for the rest of the
night. Use an Action
Plan at the beginning of September to help keep up the schedule
throughout the school year.
Here is an example from last year: I am in no way implying that I didn't worry about it, I never said that
handing over this responsibility is an easy thing to do. But, there are
worse things in life than bad grades, and a young adult that doesn't know
how to take responsibility for themselves is one of them. So teach your
teen now, while you can.
Some teens need privacy, others, prefer people around them. Find the place
in your home that your teen is comfortable to do his work. Have the tools
they need to get the work done. Teens are a lot like us... they get
aggravated. After a full day at school the last thing they want to do is
homework. After they get themselves to the table, all ready to go, what
they don't need is to have to search for a piece of construction paper. It
will be the straw that broke the camels back, and they will give up. We
all know how this feels, so try and have what they need available.
Routine, routine, routine! Routines make your teen feel safe and secure.
When teens feel safe and secure, they are at their best. Get rid of the,
'Did you do your homework yet?' question. Know that from this time to this
time, they are working on it. Be available at that time should they have
questions.
When children enter High School, they are offered many, different
activities. Some teens try and do it all. This is a good time to explain
to your teen that there is such a thing as 'too much of a good thing'. See
how they handle the responsibility of an activity before allowing them
something else. A great article I found is Sports
vs School, How to find the right mix of schoolwork and other
activities.
The first week, call or make an appointment to meet their teachers. Get to
know them, make them feel comfortable to get in touch with you. This, of
course is something your teen isn't going to like, even if they are a good
student. But, I have found over the years, that teachers you have called
to introduce yourself to, are much more conscious of your teen in their
class. So, not only does your teen know that you care about their
education, the teachers do also. I have somne articles that will help. You
can find them in the Back
To School link library page.
The World Wide Web is an amazing place, we all know that. But, did you
know that if your 9th grader is having problems with Pi, you can help her
by going to the Dr.
Math site? For this and other places to go to get help, try the our Homework
Help link library page. If your teen should need a tutor, read Do
You Need A Tutor?
What kinda tip is that???
Well, let me tell ya, it is the one tip that is going to keep your sanity
in check. Parents of teens often have trouble figuring out where to hold
up the responsibilities our teens have and when to back off. With school,
our teens need to 'hold the bag'. What grades they earn are the grades
they have earned, and in no way should these grades reflex on us as
parents. After we have given them the time, the space, and the tools, they
need to do the learning.
I had a teen bring home a note that said he didn't get a project done, and
he needed it done or he would fail the class. Instead of picking up the
responsibility for the project, I handed it right back to my teen. I
didn't ground him, I didn't get caught up in that sinking feeling I was
having, I took a deep breath and said, 'Geez, I think I would get it
done.' Then I put a piece of imaginary duct tape over my mouth, and held
it shut. He got it done, and passed the class. If I would have told him to
get the work out now, and we'll do it together, the next time it would
happen again. And he would have learned nothing.