Parent's Resource Center



In this short article, we will consider daughters from both a Dads and a Moms point of view although the information is useful for any youth worker working with girls as it gives insights into how they think and how they need to be treated.


Dads and Daughters

Your role in your daughters life is made very significant because you are

the first male that she will relate to and she will constantly be seeking

your approval. Whenever possible you should encourage her in two main

areas: skills and appearance. Take the time to go and watch her perform in

school plays and sporting events and congratulate her on the skills she

shows. At parent teacher evenings, go along and praise her in front of her

teachers don't make it up or be over the top, be sincere and real. Tell her

she is beautiful too particularly during adolescence she will question her

looks and appearance and, as an influential male, you have the privilege of

shaping her view of herself. It is important, too, that it is you that

tells her these things affirmation from Mom is essential but also from Dad.

Don't be shy of giving her physical affection too they need it. Of course I

am talking of appropriate affection and I would strongly urge you to seek

help if you feel this could be an issue for you. However 3 hugs a day for

maintenance sounds like a good idea. Statistics imply that they will get

their hugs from other males if Dad hasn't been as generous as he could be.


Moms and Daughters

The issues that moms and daughters face are different but still very real

in the life of a teenage young woman. One of them is that there can be a

risk of the mother dominating and seeking to make their daughter like

themselves. Instead encourage them to the their own person

their own hair style, clothing or bedroom decor. The art is helping them

maintain the balance between fashion and modesty at times!

I am sure you will realize that time spent with your daughter is a wise

investment for the future and it may work out well to share a hobby or

activity together scrap booking or cross stitch have been popular in our 

family. It is during these times together that she will pick up on your values. 

For example, you will teach your daughter about gossip by your words in 

action as you go about your daily life.


Tension between mother and teenage daughter is normal as they are 

seeking to grow from dependant child to independent adult and the journey 

through adolescence is often a rocky road. How you handle this is very 

important and patience is the order of the day. It is also good that you 

vocalize your approval and appreciation at this time in her life.


One other quick thing whilst we are on the subject [and this is

particularly important if you have sons in the house too], avoid

stereotyping her into doing all the girlie things around the hours - boys

hands are fully capable of washing dishes and they also benefit from

training in laundry essentials maybe more about that in a future article.



Nigel Lane
Father, Youth Worker, Coach
More articles?


Return to Home