The holidays are right around the corner, is your teen going to act like the perfect Christmas Angel? Of course not!

All special occasions, i.e. holidays, family get-togethers, and even family vacations, are the most opportune times for you teen to be at his worst. The reason for this has to do with your teens basic need to define himself. He is going to use these opportunities to define the family structure around him, therefore defining where he 'fits'. He will do this by stirring up as much conflict as possible.

As the whirlwinds that your teen has started die down, he will pick up on his 'piece' in the 'family puzzle'. It will greatly effect his Self-Esteem. So you want to do your best to resolve the conflicts as they rise, rather than have them fester. Here are a few good tips on how to resolve conflict:

• Use your active listening skills.
• Action plans on curfews and family guidelines help prevent many conflicts.
• Know the differences between natural and logical consequences and use them.
• Avoid power struggles by taking a time out when you feel the need.
• Expect non-compliance. Testing the limits is normal behavior for a teenager. When you get what you are expecting it causes less frustration.